No Longer Incognito… Now the Face of Bullying

Hey everyone.  I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged.  Work and life have gotten in the way.  So is my life at times, busy, busy, busy!

I’ve had a few people ask me my thoughts on this whole Richie Incognito / Jonathan Martin situation, and even had some ask if I was going to blog on it.  Since I’ve discussed football (and sports in general and how it changes social norms) as well as bullying, I’ve had a number of people ask my opinion on the subject.

I decided, rather than just have a knee-jerk reaction to it.  I’d let it play out a bit to get more of the “full story.”  There are always two sides to a story, even in something as disgusting as racism and bullying.  Having done so, I’ve decided there is blame to be placed on many sides.  I’ve also decided that the majority of it falls at Richie Incognito’s feet, but not all of it.  Some even falls at the feet of Jonathan Martin.

First, I’ll start with some background on me.  Then I’ll break down how Mr. Martin should have dealt with it himself.  I was bullied when I was a kid.  Just like Martin, I made good grades (not claiming Stanford level smarts, but you get the idea).  That wasn’t “acceptable” for me growing up in a rural area.  I was picked on, and had other kids attack me.  One day, I just snapped.  I confronted my bully (kind of like Ralphie in A Christmas Story) I just saw blind rage!  I fought back, and HARD!  The bus driver actually had to stop the bus in the middle of the road and pull me off of my antagonist.  After that day, that bully only tested the waters with me once more.  And after standing up to him again, I had no more issues with him.  I still had issues with other boys.  Obviously, I couldn’t fight them all.  Even if I tried, I’d eventually lose.  So I started playing football.  Once it became known that I could hold my own (and excel) on a football field, I was no longer bullied.  Was this because I was deemed “more manly”?  Was it because I was able to intimidate my bullies then?  Or was it that some saw me as their equal once I took it to them on an open field?  Who knows.  Probably some of all options listed.  Sometimes I lost on the football field.  I’d get “blown up” from time to time, but peeling myself off the turf and lining up again changed that perception of me.  Perhaps even gave me some respect from my former “rivals.”

I’ll even admit, that years later, as my perception changed, I was even at times capable of being a bully.  Luckily, that didn’t last long, and I “grew up.”  Part of that is the mentality and culture that surrounds football (but more on that later).

Now, I’ll start with Jonathan Martin.  The victim in this situation.  Yes, there is blame to be laid on him.  Some of you may disagree, but this is how I see it from a football standpoint.  Bully’s are just really insecure themselves.  They pick on you because you’re “different.”  Whether the color of your skin, your background, your education or “just because.”  Bullies will almost always back down when confronted.  Martin, while maybe “soft” in the eyes of the Miami Dolphins (it’s been suggested they assigned Incognito to “toughen him up”) is still a grown and very large man.  Most of the time, just verbalizing your issues and standing up to your bully verbally will cause them to back down or give you the respect you deserve, or in a physical confrontation like I had.

Martin is smart.  He’s been around football for a long time (1.5 years as a pro.  4 years of college, 4 years of high/prep school, and let’s say 5 years (probably much more) of midget league/pop warner etc.) 14-15 years!  If he decided to go head-to-head with his aggressor (the method I would suggest in a football locker room).  He should understand that any physical confrontation, on the field or in the locker room, will last 10 seconds or less.  Your teammates will break it up faster than it started.  That may have been all that was needed to get Incognito to back off.  If not, there are still other avenues to deal with this before it becomes so bad you throw away your career (because it’s likely over, but more on that later too).

Martin, while feeling stuck in the Dolphins locker room because inexplicably, Incognito was on the “Leadership Team” of the Dolphins, he still had other avenues.  If he decides he can’t handle the abuse he’s receiving on his own.  He has his O-line coach, his Offensive Coordinator, his Head Coach.  If he feels his been singled out to be “taught a lesson and toughen up” Code Red style (if you don’t understand watch the movie A Few Good Men), he still has the NFL Players Union, or even the Commissioner of Football!

He didn’t do any of this.  He decided instead to take it outside of the normal “Football Culture” rules of dealing with it in-house, and made it a spectacle for all the world to watch as he walked out on his team.  He should have dealt with this ahead of time.  This divides a team, and makes you even more of an outcast.  NFL Players around the league have stated that was wrong and wouldn’t be able to trust him as a teammate, and trust, especially on an offensive line is the most important element.  Once you’re untrustworthy to your fellow teammates, you’re no longer welcome.  You become an outcast.  By taking the approach he has chosen, he just made matters worse for himself.

Not everyone is cut out for football, and that’s fine.  But someone that’s been playing more than a decade doesn’t just quit out of the blue.  And the “toughening up” should be at a minimum at that point.  Which means that there are issues elsewhere in this onion.

So, let’s talk about the “Leadership” at the Miami Dolphins!  The organization has a major issue if it’s placing people like Richie Incognito on it’s “Leadership Team.”  The fact that no one knew anything of this, I consider a major lack of institutional control by the coaching staff as well as ownership.  When a man is verbally abusing (and suggested) physically assaulting a team member, it’s up to his brothers on the team to take care of him.  That’s the definition of team. 

For the entire team, to now rally around the bully rather than the victim says a lot too.  None of them are man enough to say anything, because at this point, you’re an accessory after the fact to the bullying if you didn’t do anything about it!  When you read the transcripts of the voicemail (shortly) how can you label this guy a “jokester” and a “good guy”??

You also can’t tell me that a man with the emotional issues of Richie Incognito will be smart enough to keep it under wraps while in the facilities and leaving voicemails and texts like he was is, well, bullsh-t.  There had to be ‘stuff’ going on at the facilities.  We can’t be talking about “normal hazing”.  I have no problem at all with rookies carrying pads, lugging water coolers, having their heads shaved etc.  That’s once again, part of the “Football Culture.”  (no matter how disgusting to some of those reading this)

But there are reports out today (which I doubt) from Martin’s lawyer that he was viciously attacked in the locker room by another player.  I believe this is blown out of proportion due to my previous comment about a football fight won’t last but seconds because everyone will jump in to break it up.  However, if true, there would be an athletic trainer, coach, clubhouse manager, or water boy that would have seen it.  It should have been reported without fear of reprisals!  If the Dolphins locker room is anywhere close to the house of horrors that it sounds it has become, the team, coaches and ownership should all be dealt with as far as the NFL Commissioners powers will allow.  There also should be some level of local, state and federal law that will be applicable here as well.

Finally, Richie Incognito, the racist, bigotted, bullying piece of sh-t that he is.  Let’s first look at his laundry list of past issues (exhibits A-I):

Richie Incognito Timeline

A timeline of notable incidents involving offensive lineman Richie Incognito, in both his college and professional careers:

Date Incident
Oct. 2013 Suspended indefinitely by Dolphins after alleged harassment of teammate Jonathan Martin
Aug. 2013 Texans DE Antonio Smith suspended for Week 1 for swinging helmet at Incognito during game
Dec. 2011 Raiders DT Richard Seymour fined $30,000 for punching Incognito during game
Dec. 2009 Released by Rams two days after being penalized twice for personal fouls and arguing with coach Steve Spagnuolo during game against Titans
2009 season Voted NFL’s “dirtiest player” in poll of NFL players by Sporting News
Oct. 2004 Dismissed from Oregon football program after transferring to school in September
Sept. 2004 Suspended indefinitely by Nebraska coach Bill Callahan for repeated violations of team rules
June 2004 Convicted of misdemeanor assault charge stemming from incident at party in February
Spring 2003 Suspended by Nebraska coach Frank Solich (reinstated prior to season)

How any team could put this man on their “Leadership Team” is beyond me.  When the football culture is, you keep it “in-house” and people are voting you the dirtiest player in football, you need to be watched like a hawk.  Not put in charge of anything!  How do you get so far under an opponents skin that they remove their helmet during a game and take a swing at you??

Then, let’s just work with what we know to be fact.  The voicemail for instance from Incognito to Martin (signs of not being smart enough to handle his emotions and keep it out of the locker room – exhibit J)

“Hey, wassup, you half n—– piece of s—. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s— in your f—ing mouth. [I’m going to] slap your f—ing mouth. [I’m going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F— you, you’re still a rookie. I’ll kill you.”

This language is not that of a good guy, or is it ever a joke!  This is bordering hate crime.  Racial intimidation, and threats of murder.  That’s not the language of a jokester and certainly not the language of a “good guy.”  This isn’t even “toughening” a guy up, that’s handled through “bull in the ring” drills or other things of that sort.  It’s not threats of death and racial rants! 

Incognito, even threatened members of the press for reporting on this (exhibits K-N)-

Exhibit K:

Richie incognito        @68INCOGNITO

@espn @CBSSports @NBCSports  @FOXSports @ProFootballTalk I want my name CLEARED

 
Exhibit L:

@espn shame on you for attaching my name to false speculation. I won’t be holding my breathe for an apology

 
Exhibit M:

@AdamSchefter Stop slandering my name.  You hide behind “sources” who are not man enough to put their name behind the BS you report

 
And finally – Exhibit N:

@AdamSchefter Enough is enough If you or any of the agents you sound off for have a problem with me, you know where to find me

 
Well Richie Incognito, as I’ve said before to bullies.  I will stand up to you.  And most of America will as well.  You’re simply an ignorant coward that is not smart enough to realize that there are consequences to your actions.  You’ve likely destroyed your career, and sadly that of Jonathan Martin.  I will as you so eloquently put it “#BRINGIT” to you and any of your bullying kind.
 
You’re no longer an “incognito” member of an offensive line, but now the face of Racism and Bullying.  The “League” won’t put up with this sort of bad press much longer.  They will “Protect The Shield” and put you, and your racist ways away, somehow, someway.  You, and the Washington Football Team controversy and the Riley Cooper incident early in the season place a bad light on the sport and on the league as far as race relations go.
 
You’re done.  Teams had a DNDC (Due Not Draft due to Character) tag on you before you even made it into the league due to your issues in college.  Now, you’re even more of a scourge.  I doubt you will ever get a chance to play football again.  Take your idiotic rage elsewhere, assuming you don’t end up in prison for hate crimes charges.

Roger Goodell Needs to Protect All Groups

This is the dry spell of the year for a guy like me.  It’s July and early August.  Training camps are open and I check the blogs, news reels and every other source or app I can for news, or the hope of lack thereof.  This is the time of year you don’t want your team in the news.  Because the news is never good.  Usually it’s Running Back X beat up person Y in a bar and will be suspended.  Or Receiver W tore his ACL and is out for the season, or Center G dislocated his hip (I shudder thinking about that one).

Yes, I’m talking about football!

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I’m a die-hard football fan.  College is my preferred game, ask my wife.  From the time “Game Day” comes on in the morning on Saturday, until the last West Coast game goes off in the wee-hours of Sunday morning, I’m glued to the TV and pretty much useless for any household chores.  She calls herself a football widow.  For that honey, I am truly sorry!

This post however isn’t about college football, it’s about the pro game.  You know, “The Shield”  The N.F.L. (imagine me saying that in a deep, masculine and powerful voice with an orchestra of music behind me).  Where all my good college players go to make their millions.

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I’m an on again, off again fan.  I’ve been with teams that have been a joke positively atrocious for years.  I spent years not watching.  I even spent years without a team to cheer for.  I’ve finally settled on a team.

I settled on them because they’re local.  Their summer training camp is just a few miles from my home.  I chose them because they have an exciting player to watch.  I chose them because they are my little brothers favorite team.  I’ve chosen them because some of my family members have had tickets to them for years and have lived and died as fans and will never follow another team.

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That team, is the Washington Redskins.  I’ve never been a big fan of their name.  I have Native American heritage in my blood.  I’m proud of that.  But I decided to overlook it.  Until today.

Today, news broke, the bad kind (of course) for another team in the NFL.  Riley Cooper, of the Philadelphia Eagles, was video taped a few months ago at a concert, threatening to fight a group of people.  That group of people had a different skin color than him.  He used a racial slur.  A very nasty racial slur (they all are) and he was immediately fined by his team owner within hours of the news coming to light about his statement.  Good on ya’ owner of the Eagles, even in his “off time” he’s still a representative of the Eagles (see previous post about being the ambassador of your group).  He has since put out the obligatory apologies, spoken to his teammates, and apologized to them.  Michael Vick even came out as the leader of the team accepting his apology.

You have to make amends as best you can to those around you.  I’m fine with that.

Roger Goodell, was on a morning talk show this morning.  Most that follow the NFL perceive him as a strong handed, rule-with-an-iron-fist type of commisioner.  Some of the things he’s done, I agree with, others I do not.  He explained that since the team has fined Mr. Cooper, due to the collective bargaining agreement with the league and the union, the league cannot fine him again for the same offense.  I believe in Unions, and I believe in groups honoring those agreements.  While personally, I believe he deserves more of a punishment, that’s not for me to say, that’s between him, his owner, his coaches and his fellow players.  I’m fine with Mr. Cooper not getting additional punishment from the league.

However, Mr. Goodell, when asked about the team in Washington declined to push the envelope.  Even saying, “I grew up in the Washington area and was a Redskins fan as a child.”  He went on to say that the name represents Pride, Heritage and Tradition.

Excuse me?!?!?!?

If you say that what Riley Cooper has done is wrong and immoral.  How is a team name that is seen as offensive to another ethnic group not wrong and immoral?  Is it okay to offend Native Americans because there are fewer of them?  Since there are more African Americans, it’s not okay to use the N-word, but it’s okay to use a different derogatory term to a smaller segment of the population??

If as Goodell says like a broken record, “Represent the NFL and ‘The Shield’ in a positive way,” how can you not go to Dan Snyder (the overly obnoxious owner of the team in Washington) and demand that a name change be made?  Right is right and wrong is wrong.

If we look at the NFL as an org chart, it goes something like this….

  • Roger Goodell – Commissioner
  • Owners
  • Players

If the boss of the players can discipline a player for the use of a derogatory term, the Commissioner (the boss) should be obligated to do the same to the owner of a team.  He has the power to put a positive light on the NFL and protect The Shield and put a mandate to any owner that a name change must be made.  Is it because he was a fan of the team as a child that he ignores this duty?  Is it just because there are not any (to my knowledge) Native American players in the NFL, or is it just plain apathy towards a smaller segment of the population.

That’s probably it, a smaller segment of the population is a smaller segment of advertising revenue, merchandise, etc.  Why protect a big group and step on the throats emotionally of a smaller group?  Because. You. Can.

I understand you can’t make everyone happy all the time.  Someone can be offended by the name of anything.  If they changed their name to the Washington Kittens, some animal rights group would be offended I’m sure.  But this isn’t about Heritage, Tradition or Pride.  You can say it is, but that term, just like the N-word doesn’t evoke those emotions in the folks that are in that demographic.  To them, it’s the exact opposite.  Oppression, Hate and Diluting of the Heritage, Tradition and Pride of that group, as they were systematically moved across the country from their homelands to reservations, and taken from everything they’ve ever known.  Sometimes poisoned with germ warfare and given drugs they were not immuned to handle.

A person can make mistakes, make amends and hopefully get a second chance after learning from that mistake.  A league, needs to be held to a higher standard.  Why is this not the conversation?  The league needs to decide, that anything racially insensitive is unacceptable.  Even if it’s a team that’s been in the league for years.  Even if it’s a team you cheered for as a child Mr. Goodell.  It’s time for a change.

If the league wants to make amends to two groups at once.  Perhaps the Red Tails name should be mandated by the league.  It removes the Redskins name.  It keeps the color scheme etc. of the existing team.  It promotes an animal that is local to the area, a Red Tail Hawk an animal that promotes strength, power, freedom and strong will. Finally, it will honor a group of African Americans that fought so valiantly for our country and our freedoms in WWII, the Tuskegee Airmen!

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Colleges went through this in 1994, almost 20 years later, it’s time the NFL caught up with the times.  St. John’s changed from the Redmen to the Red Storm.  It’s time for my football team to step up and do the right thing!  Roger Goodell needs to get his head out of his ass and put pressure on Dan Snyder.